Naturally, spirits have felt more gravitational pull than tides at full moon or thighs at full middle-age. All the world and its investment advisors have been going around wringing their hands in total despair—and sometimes their own necks or somebody else's. In its traditional season, goodwill towards all men has been in short supply, and not only because wills, good or bad, are no longer worth the paper they are attested on. As for peace on earth, there's so much bloodshed all around that red truly is the new black.
So what do we do? Hang up our boots instead of our Christmas stockings, hunker down under our razais, and await the end of the world as we've known it? Nonsense! We must do all the things that magazines say we must at festive times. However, because these are very different times, I have also factored in a Terror Modification, or TM.